Well, things haven't gotten much better yet but I was getting a little more optimistic until something really horrible happened to a close friend. I just wish she would realize that it wasn't her fault but that really isn't working out and it's frustrating me to no end. I hate sitting by and watching while a friend torments herself despite EVERYONE telling her it wasn't her fault. Ugh. So stubborn.

I think I'm going to be getting a job soon at Zappos. I have to go in Monday and Tuesday for orientation and job training. I don't know if I'm going to be having an interview or not, haven't heard anything about that yet. It's a holiday job so it will only last for a month or so but at least I can get a little money so I'm not buying mom and dad's christmas presents with mom and dad's money and maybe I can pay off a bit more on my laptop. Hope it goes ok and I get the job. It would be even better if they keep me on after holidays but I'm not holding my breath.

Another thing that has really been bothering me is my mother. Maybe she's bored and I'm the only outlet (since she can't pick at dad and the brother is hardly home) but it's always something I'm doing wrong or something I need to do more of. Like driving. Apparently I can't drive (even though I have my liscence and have never gotten close to having a wreck) because every time she's in the car with me it's "The speed limit is so and so through here Jessica Lee." "You better slow down a bit through here, this is a big vehicle." (even though I'm going the speed limit or 5 over everywhere we go. Nope doesn't matter, I could be goin 10mph and she'd be scared we'll wreck)If it's not my driving it's some bull shit fucking excuse why I can't hang out with my friends or how I suddenly have a mile long list of chores to do before I can go anywhere with them. Dishes. Since I got out of HS dishes havce been my responsibility. For all the history our family has done dishes they've been done every other day. Now, suddenly that I'm doing them by myself, she wants them done every fucking day. No. I have other things to do like finding a job and dealing with college. I don't need to focus on the DISHES for fucks sake that DON'T need to be done EVERY DAY! God, she gets on my nerves sometimes. Love her to death but there's certain things she does that just pisses me off so bad.

I'm not a kid anymore but they still treat me like I am. When I go out I have to tell them where, when, how, with who, and what time am I getting back. I really want to get out of here but sadly it won't be for a year or two. Then hopefully me and a friend can get an apartment and get away from all the
Home shit we're goin through. OMG I can't wait. I really don't wanna be stuck her at twenty like my brother. I'm so ready to go. Been keeping a look out for good apartment complexes close to college and everything.

On a good not, I've found out how to work the Journal Skins thing so now I can prettify these depressing-ass rants that are packed full of my angry vulgar language.